This is my review-the-last-month and look-forward-to-next-month post. Think of it as my hello [month], goodbye [month] post.

Plus I calculated how much money we need for childcare and kids’ activities for school year 2026-2027. Seeing that number made me sick.

July

July started on a rough note: a TERRIBLE heat wave in New Jersey, and a thunderstorm knocked out power for practically the whole of NJ? It sucked. We had a generator and used our outside grill and inside gas stove so it wasn’t the end of the world but the HEAT. The heat was awful. We couldn’t sleep. Thankfully, we had two fans that we placed in the bedroom and that made things borderline bearable.

no power…

July was largely about our epic Italian trip. I wrote a lot about it so I won’t recap it here. My Italy postmortem post can be found here. All in all, it was a good trip in spite of some parenting challenges.

August

August is a get-back-to-normal month. Easy-going things like playgrounds, ice cream, cooking and baking, and pool visits. One week of summer camp. Some academic work for the kids. Some academic work for me. Planning Q4.

Slowly getting back into the swing of things. It took us (me) a while to feel normal again after jet lag. Plus! This is important for me: starting HRT and keeping track of how I’m feeling/any symptoms. The headaches eased up, thankfully.

In August I’ve been focusing on:

1 building routines for the kids (and myself)

2 reading books, articles, blogs

3 getting back to lifting weights at the ymca

4 weeding the flower beds

5 listening to podcasts and audio books

6 overall catch-up on so many things… life, laundry, planning Q4, decluttering

7 seeing friends (my 3 sister-friends also traveled this summer).

8 enjoying being at the house

9 some back-to-school prep but my kids don’t go back till September 8th (!)


I also sat down and calculated aftercare fees and extracurricular activities fees for next school year. I take advantage of an FSA account for dependent care so I do get a tax break. But the rest of them is expensive.

Last year we were doing: aftercare, piano, Brazilian jiu jitsu and gymnastics. Piano was expensive ($90/hour) but L decided not to continue… Silver lining?… I also never calculated the total for last year.

But this year, I did. And those numbers are insane. School year will run from September’26 to June’27: $6,720 – aftercare; $2,765 – gymnastics lessons for both kids; $2,500 – Brazilian jiu jitsu, only for my son (he had a change of heart and wants to continue).

Grand total: $11,985. Let’s just call it 12K.

But! Not included: swim lessons for both (it’s time) and a tumbling gymnastics class for L during the week (instead of piano).

Let us say that is another 3K… So, 15K total?…

I realize that we can only send them to aftercare and be done with it. BUT, I want my kids to do things. When I was a child I never got to participate in any classes because skates were “dangerous. In gymnastics people “broke their necks.” Piano or violin were for “patient and hard-working” people (apparently I wasn’t one of them). Martial arts and riding a bicycle were “for boys only”. Those are my mom’s views.

Realistically…

Aftercare is non-negotiable. Both T and I work and, although I can leave work at 2:45PM per our teaching contract, there is no way I will make it to school pick up on time, so the kids have to go to after care. Also, on days when I JUST need a break… say, when T is away on business. In between work and pick up, I can go home and rest, or go to the gym, or do yoga, or get groceries. Anyway, aftercare is an investment and is worth it. It’s from 3pm to 6pm but I usually pick them up earlier.

Other activities… Swim is #1. I need the kids to learn how to swim. They “think” they know how to swim, but they don’t.

Gymnastics on Saturdays: L loves it because of cheer component, and she is a very active child. Plus she has friends in those classes with similar love for gymnastics.

Brazilian jiu jitsu is good for R since martial arts is 1. confidence, 2. self-defense and 3. friendships but it’s not a “must.”

I am waiting for August 24th when the YMCA opens its registration for swim lessons. Swim will dictate BJJ and that additional gymnastics class.

To sum up…

~ aftercare – a must #1;

~ swim: #2;

~ gymnastics on Saturdays #3: already registered at the end of June

~ Brazilian jiu jitsu #4: waiting on swim.

~ Additional weekday gymnastics class (instead of piano) for L #5: waiting on swim.


If you have kids, what are they doing this school year? Did you do after-school activities when you were little?

Pic on the front: ingredients laid out for nachos by my daughter


24 responses to “August intentions+money stuff”

  1. Lisa’s Yarns Avatar

    Before and after care is non-negotiable for us, too. We are having the boys take the bus to and from school on Fridays. I would prefer they do before and after care those days but Phil felt strongly about them having 1 shorter day. But that means one of us needs to WFH and he available up to 8am and be there at 2:45 when they get dropped off. I usually do OTF or therapy on Friday morning so we need to split the Fridays (Phil RARELY WFH – maybe 1 day every 3 months; that needs to change when school starts).

    Beside before and after care (the cost of which I haven’t added up) the kids do swimming lessons which are $350/kid/quarter on average. We are dropping fall this year so they will do it in the winter and spring when they have fewer activities. Paul takes piano lessons but I need to find a new teacher. His last one charged $40 for 30 min. I imagine it will be $35ish? Besides that they do rec sports which is super cheap ($30/sports season). In the winter months Paul does a golf clinic on Saturday mornings for an hour. I can’t remember how much it costs. Phil’s best friend puts it on and Paul has a blast. That’s it for activities we pay for, though. We go to tennis clinics 2 Saturdays a month for 5 months out of the year but it’s a free program thank goodness! So we get by pretty easily. And I can’t add any more activities beyond this to the schedule because I am gone twice/month and Phil has a limit to how much chauffeuring he can do on his own.

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    1. Daria Avatar

      Thank you so much for sharing. It helps a lot. I think we figured out the logistics…

      Lyra will focus on gymnastics this year (since that’s what she likes)
      R has BJJ (that’s where his friends are)
      Swim for both on Sundays for 30 minutes.
      Aftercare for both, after school, a must-do.

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    2. Daria Avatar

      Speaking of clinics. There is cheerleading clinic at the gymnastics place and it’s on days when MY schools is closed. Maybe I’ll send her there from 9 to 12 to give myself a break…

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  2. jennystancampiano Avatar
    jennystancampiano

    Thankfully my daughter is older so no aftercare! We did do aftercare in elementary school but it was WAY cheaper than yours. Actually, reading your post makes me realize how lightly we’re getting off. Flute lessons are $75 a week, and then her main activity is band, which we do pay for. The schools don’t get enough funding for band so everyone has a “fair share” payment of $575 a year. I grumbled about that until I realized how much other people are paying for sports.

    Growing up, I did a couple things, like guitar lessons and I think we had something called “after school sports” which was probably very cheap to participate in. But mostly we just played with friends after school. Those were the good old days!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Daria Avatar

      Oh, you did guitar?! How lovely! Did it stay with you? In other words, did you retain the information, like skills and notes? I wonder if my oldest will retain some of the piano…I hope so!

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  3. Kari Avatar

    Illinois has had more tornadoes than usual this year, and we’ve had THE worst stormy, humid summer ever. I’m ready for fall/winter.

    Expenses are the worst. I thought I was finally through the big ones, but now comes college. 🤣

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Daria Avatar

      Oh yeah… college. My sister friend Helen has a senior this year and he really loved Boston College. Then looked at the price tag 90K (!!!) per year for bachelor’s!!! Times four… Gulp.

      Liked by 1 person

  4. Common Household Mom Avatar

    That’s a tough blow to look at the total for the aftercare and the lessons. But I’m guessing it’s better to know that to walk into everything blindly.

    Glad to hear the headaches subsided. I regret not doing HRT, but that time has passed, so I soldier on.

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  5. NGS Avatar
    NGS

    I didn’t do afterschool activities because of transportation. I’m sure money was part of it, but I grew up in a rural area and if I didn’t ride the school bus home, there was no way for me to get home! I am always shocked at how scheduled kids are today, but it really is a different world.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Daria Avatar

      Same – I did nothing. And I wish I did. I feel like, somehow, my family shortchanged me because of that. Def feelings to work through on my part.

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  6. sarahjedd Avatar
    sarahjedd

    We spend more than your total on a single activity for ONE CHILD (plus travel, not included in billed costs), so to me this seems reasonable LOL LOL LOL

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    1. Daria Avatar

      OMG LOL by the way swim was not very expensive- 1,500 per year.

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  7. Natka Avatar

    Hi Daria – I’ve been away and catching up on all the posts. I tried to comment on your previous post, but got an error message… just wanted to say that it was so nice to see that you and your daughter were cooking together!

    Your August plan sounds very focused – it’s good to use this time to get ready for jumping back into fall…

    Also, completely agree that aftercare (at this stage) and swimm lessons are a must.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Natka Avatar

      Oh, and I did piano as a kid. Nothing else (I had plenty of free time to roam around freely and read books and I loved that).

      My kids are in high school and midle school, and a lot of their activities are through school (sports, clubs, etc). Outside school, they do music (the oldest one loves it and dedicates substantial time to violin practice and youth orchestra outside school; the middle one is about to quit piano, I think – she’s been taking lessons for about 10 years and at this point has no interest in practicing or improving; the youngest one plays cello and oscilates between frustration and joy – we’ll see what happens there). The older kids have jobs. The youngest one might do swim team for part of the year. They are all pretty busy, but things have become more manageable since the oldest one now drives.

      When they were in elementary school, they did ~1 sport and 1 musical instrument each, with occasional school activities/clubs mixed in. Sports changed depending on interests, seasons, and availability, but they all did swim lessons around Kindergarden-1st grade. And aftercare until the oldest was in 5th grade (then pandemic happenned and kids just never went back).

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Daria Avatar

        Did you go to music school? I remember there was one in Chelyabinsk right next to our apartment but my mom would not let me 😦

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    2. Daria Avatar

      Natasha, nice to hear from you! August is a loooong month, feels like it.

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      1. Natka Avatar

        yes, music school! My mom taught piano there, so it was one of those non-negotiable things, like washing hands and finishing your food. I really liked it, so it all worked out!

        Liked by 1 person

  8. J Avatar

    Like Engie, we didn’t do after school activities, due to transportation and money. When my daughter was little, she did after school care, but I worked nearby and was able to adjust my schedule so I could pick her up at 3 or 4. I think the idea of having some time to yourself, though, is worth the extra money if it works for your family. My daughter did some after school things, but I don’t think any of them cost nearly what you’re paying. But she’s 30, so it’s been a while, and Girl Scouts was (mostly) free. So swimming, art, Spanish, math tutoring, karate, probably something else too…but only one at a time, and we only have 1 kid.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Daria Avatar

      New Jersey, New York and the tristate area are ridiculously expensive. I guess CA is no better?… I honestly don’t know.. But yes it is a lot of money.

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  9. Tobia | craftaliciousme Avatar

    Oh wow… kids do cost money but then you want them to have a great experience. I think this is so great of you. You do so much and expose them to many things not just the daily after school stuff but your travels. You can be so proud of yourself.

    I did do after school stuff. There was a time we I didn’t want to do anything so my mom said I f I don’t choose anything she is going to sign me up somewhere. I am thankful for that push. We all had our own stuff going on. I am sure it also cost lots of money.

    Learning to swim is so essential. In Germany it is pretty common to learn how to sim and it is part of the elementary sports curriculum. But there are still so many people drowning these days because migrants and expats who never learnt how to swim are overestimate their swimming competence. Just last weekend we had the helicopter hover over our place for about an hour. we live about 800 meters from a public beach. Something must have happened.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Daria Avatar

      Wow, swimming is part of the school curriculum?! That’s incredible. All schools should do that.
      When we were traveling in Italy, I was a bit nervous at the lake and the Adriatic sea. So I sat on the shore and listened to podcasts while watching them like a hawk.

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  10. Stephany Avatar

    My parents worked split shifts (my mom worked a traditional 8-5 and my dad worked the night shift) so my dad was always home for the mornings/afternoons and they didn’t have to worry about before or aftercare. We did some activities, like one season of cheerleading/football and karate for a few years, but we weren’t too keen on activities so my parents didn’t push it.

    I am ALSO sick to my stomach at spending $15K for care/activities for two kids. ACK. And then Sarah saying she spends that much on just ONE KID? Eeks.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Daria Avatar

      I saw that, that’s crazy! Maybe I’ll be there, too- one of her kids is a competitive dancer so I bet it’s expensive.

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  11. rachelinwales Avatar

    Daria I always appreciate these posts! It made me think about our schedule a bit, although with a full time nanny that’s really the biggest expense. So taking that out, the big kids costs per year for both are

    Afterschool/before school: £3,500
    Swimming: £1,500
    Gymnastics (L): £150.

    This makes me realize how cheap life will be when we are not paying for full time care for the twins! I also want to find another activity for Ezra, sometimes he does tennis (£7/lesson) but we would like him to pick up something he can do every week, although it’s very hard to get him from school to another activity. I wanted him to do the in school gymnastics but he’s sadly too old. And while I could finish work early on a Monday or Tuesday to take him to an activity I also feel silly doing that bcause then we are paying for childcare for the twins and for the activity and I’m not getting paid for work… so for now it’s probably going to be it. They will start musical instruments in school this year but I’m not sure the costs.

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