This weekend I am/was in one of those SOUR, damp moods where everyone and everything is in my way, all the people are ungrateful a**holes, and nobody loves me.
Yep, luteal phase. Friday night: miserable. Saturday, more miserable. Sunday, a tad bit better.
Friday night. I picked up R and we went to visit my friend K who just had a baby about three weeks ago. I forgot how tiny they are! We had tea, R played with his friend N, the baby slept. Stayed for about an hour and cleared out soon after. Then we came back home, had dinner, and I just wanted to crawl into a hole and stay there. The house was in more disarray than usual since I was alone with the kids all week and that added to my misery.
Saturday morning, oofff. I felt like an invisible force came out and possessed me: I felt so, so sad for no reason other than: life. I had yoga at 8:15 and I was going to bail but I forced myself to go. I did feel better: got distracted, probably got out of my head and into my body, and felt okay afterwards. The drive to R’s skating lesson was hard. I was crying and R went from the back seat: “deep breaths, mom, deep breaths.” Funny, not funny.
Saturday night, at the end of day, I felt so over everything. Just lay there on the couch in the living room. Not reading, not scrolling. Just laying there. Or, resting? Last week did wear me out.
The kids were put to bed, with stories read and songs sung, and T and I watched a horror movie. Again, I was sad but that movie distracted me and I felt better. The movie was Smile 2.
Sunday morning I felt somewhat better. I slept in, and was up at 7:30, unheard of. The kids fooled around in our bed, we ate breakfast, played scrabble and jenga, and went out for some groceries. Came back, R had lunch and a nap, L had lunch and a craft, T had lunch and video games, I had lunch and started on this post. This whole weekend I had moments when I was unnecessarily strict and cynical with the kids, and I feel bad about it.
Sunday afternoon we had L’s party at her gymnastics place. Both of my kids go to gymnastics every Saturday morning so they know it and love it. Although my daughter’s actual birthday was last week, her party was today.
The party was small: seven kids and four parents. As much as I did not want to have L’s birthday party at a place rather than our house, it turned out to be a good, albeit expensive, choice. L and her friends enjoyed an hour of supervised gymnastics (the whole gym to themselves with a teacher) as well as a soft block pit, a trampoline, all kinds of obstacles, a trapeze, a Tarzan swing, and a zip line! Honestly, the kids had a blast. The parents chatted, had soft drinks, and just hung out in a very low pressure setting.
The place was $250, food was $280, tips $40, decorations about $20. So, an expensive party. Last year we catered food to our house and it was about $180 for food. Yeah, this was definitely more expensive. Not sure if this should be done every birthday. Maybe every three years or so.
Now it’s Sunday night and as I wrap up this post, I am feeling a little better. This coming week, my period should start thus stabilizing hormones and making me feel human again.
Mom of Children 