Such a loaded question. Thanks WordPress.

I strive to be a solid worker, a fun mother, a good wife, and a loyal friend. A responsible citizen of NJ, USA, and the world. Bah, that’s a lot.

For me, it ebbs and flows. Sometimes I feel like “I’ve got it!”, other times: “halp me.”

There are a few patterns that I observed over the years of working full time, having kids in school, having kids in before/after care, having a house that needs to be cleaned, having a car that needs to be cleaned (foghettaboutit).

  1. I rarely work at home. I know it goes against the stereotype of teaching but I don’t. I used to bring quizzes home but I would not grade them. I would have the intention, yet I would always, always run out of time. So I stopped doing it, why bother? It just makes me feel bad. So, quizzes stay at work and get graded at work.
  2. At work, however, I do take care of stuff that is important for my home life. I admit that on my prep periods, I have made kids’ doctors’ appointments, read blogs, and called our estate lawyer. It is just not feasible to shut everything off. I don’t peruse Instagram or Facebook but I do take advantage of my prep periods/lunch to catch up on both work and home life. While I do not bring work home, I do bring home to work if it makes any sense.
  3. I work in advance at work. I plan lessons, flesh out activities and make copies for lessons 1 to 2 weeks before I am to teach them. This allows some breathing room and a sense of security. I also use many activities from years prior- and that saves time on preparation. I may change a thing or two but, overall, the activities that I have make an impact and all contribute to student learning. Otherwise, why do them?
  4. Thankfully, we do not have many meetings. We have one faculty meeting a month. Oftentimes, the format is “please work with colleagues on *insert academic stuff*. Department meetings are rare and that is how many of us prefer it. If our boss has something to share, he most certainly will via an email/text/phone call.
  5. I work in advance at home, too. If I see an event that would be interesting to L, R or both, I place it on the calendar and get tickets. I bought tickets for the Irish dance in January, knowing that that the tickets may be sold out OR I may get lazy and just not go. I think the Lazy genius Kendra Adachi calls it: planting the flags. Those non-negotiable things that shape your calendar (they can be fun or not).
  6. I leave work to pick them up from two different places, and by the time we get home, all I want to do is pee, make some tea, sit down, and rest. I do not want to socialize, we are not getting ice cream, and, no, we are not going over Amber’s house right now. “Can we pleeeeeeeeease have a play daaaaaaaate?” I am all for play dates, but I just got off work. And I had to explain that to the kids. I said something life “mom worked all day and I just want to go home and rest.” After a while, the begging stopped.
  7. Weekday routine during rough weeks/days. I pick them up at 5PM, we go home, we unpack, L practices her piano, R plays; we have dinner, we clean up, we go upstairs, we take showers, we read books, we sing songs, and we go to bed at 7:30PM. It is especially important to me to go home and be all cozy and safe in the house if I had a bad day/week.
  8. Weekday routine during good weeks/days. I pick them up at 5PM from aftercare, we go to the library or the park, then we go home, we unpack, L practices her piano, R plays; we have dinner, we clean up, we go upstairs, we take showers, we read books, we sing songs, and we go to bed around the same time. If I am having a good week, if I have energy, if I am not exhausted, if I am not starving, we will stop by somewhere local before going home.

The weekend recap is mostly in pictures. It was really good! I mentioned that I would lay low in this post – joke’s on me. It was not really a lazy weekend. Rather, a combination of rest and productivity. Highlights: gardening with L, baking muffins with R, friend’s 4th birthday party, a Touch-a-Truck county event and Friendly’s for lunch with R, a solo walk/run on Sunday and a stretching session on Saturday.

Any thoughts on work/life balance? Is that even possible?


19 responses to “How do you balance work and home life + Weekend Recap”

  1. Nicole MacPherson Avatar

    This is so smart – you leave work at work and concentrate on home at home. You are so good at setting boundaries!

    Like

  2. Elisabeth Avatar

    I agree with Nicole. Boundaries are key! It’s hard for me since I’ve worked primarily from home for over a decade. My work is technically always downstairs and it can make it hard to feel “off.”

    You’re in the home stretch now until summer break and I hope it’s refreshing and lovely in all the ways your body and mind might be craving right now!

    Like

  3. Irena Avatar
    Irena

    Hi Daria,

    to me the work/life balance is a dream, that is not worth chasing 🙂 I constantly feel behind either at home or at work. I guess the perfectionist in me is hard to please. Ideally, I know how much i can achieve in a good day at work, but there is always something that comes up at home that needs my attention. Often times when I crave uninterrupted writing days, my hubby takes charge of the school pick-ups on Friday, makes pizza and puts a movie for the kids, and I stay up late at work catching up on stuff. I loveee these nights. Any amount of work is relaxing compared to the night routine at home :)) But it could only happen around twice a month, because hubby has a demanding job too.

    I am looking very forward to summer. My kids will be in a summer day camp 4 days per week, and it would be easier to get my work done when i don’t have to be home at 3.20 pm every-single-day-of-the-school-year!

    Cheers to a great summer!!

    Like

  4. Lisa’s Yarns Avatar

    Work/life balance can be so elusive but having enough childcare is key for us. So Paul is in before and after care. He has long days as he gets dropped off around 7 and picked up around 5 but it’s kind of what he is used to and it’s what is necessary for us to mostly keep work at work. I do sometimes have to respond to work emails when I am around the kids and I used to have to pull data every weekend for a weekly commentary we send out but a junior person took that over this spring which makes a huge difference! I also bring home to work as that is when I can call insurance companies or schedule doctor appts. I also will read blogs during downtime but I feel justified in doing that since I am so productive when I am focusing on work!

    Like

    1. Daria Avatar

      Same! Our both kids have long days, too- before and after care for both.

      Like

    2. Grateful Kae Avatar

      I think this is just the reality when both parents work the same hours! There is no really great way around it. When I worked inpatient, before our unit switched to 12 hour shifts, there were a lot of nurses who worked 7-3:30 (our hospital’s standard day shift). However, it seemed many of the husbands worked a bit later- more of a 8:30-5 schedule or sometimes even later like 9-6. So many families were able to alternate dropoff/ pick up where the dad who started work later handled school or before care drop off, and then the nurse mom who got done earlier would pick up. But even still, most people needed before and after care because the school hours just don’t work for working parents, obviously! At least it helped to make the day slightly shorter. In reality the kids don’t really know any different any way, and they are well cared for at daycare and probably having more fun there anyway with their little buddies!

      Like

      1. Daria Avatar

        So true. The kids are used to it but the mom guilt is still there 🙂 Workin’ on it!

        Like

  5. Michelle G. Avatar
    Michelle G.

    You are such an inspiration to me in the way that you set boundaries! I love it!

    Like

  6. NGS Avatar
    NGS

    I think it’s a question of priorities. Work is a second priority to my life and I treat it as such. I also don’t have a job that involves life or death, so that’s easy for me to say. So far, this means I do my work efficiently and without a lot of fuss and save the drama for my personal life. 🙂

    Like

    1. Daria Avatar

      Love what you wrote – makes such sense. teaching is also not life/death but it can be an emotional job- seeing students struggle mentally is hard for me, so I do bring that mental load with me.

      Like

  7. jennystancampiano Avatar
    jennystancampiano

    I’m in the same camp as Engie- I work hard while I’m at work, but it’s not the first priority in my life. Luckily it’s not the type of job that I could do at home, so there are clear boundaries there. Now that my kids are older (btw it does get easier as they get older!) I’m looking ahead to the time when my daughter goes to college in three years. I imagine I’ll shift to being more work-focused at that time, probably working more hours. The years when the kids are little are hard- it sounds like you’re doing a great job balancing everything!

    Like

    1. Daria Avatar

      Hi Jenny, yes, as kids grow, it does get easier. Even as I remember L was a toddler, R was just born and, oh my gosh, it was so hard. Then he started walking, she was in preschool, also hard but in a different way. Now they are 4 and 6 and so much easier, although the neediness is still there 😉

      Like

  8. Natka Avatar
    Natka

    Balance is elusive 🙂

    I work from home, so the boundaries between work and family become blurred all too often.

    There are some weeks when things at work are relatively calm. There are other weeks when it’s just insanity and I end up working some nights and weekends just to keep myself from drowning in projects. I do medical writing and develop scientific content for various publications (typically, for peer-reviewed journals, but sometimes also strategic scientific platforms that pharma companies use for education purposes).

    I have a fair amount of flexibility but, at times, the work gets very intense. That said, I take the time to go to at least some of the kids events that (annoyingly) happen during work hours. Like sports meets (start time at 3:30), parent visitation days, etc. I try to periodically volunteer at the elementary school. Sometimes it means that I request 1/4 or 1/2 day off at work. Sometimes I just do it (if it’s an activity that takes less than an hour). Sometimes, taking the time off work during the day means I have to make up for it in the evenings.

    I often go on walks – my job has the flexibility that allows me to do that, as long as I take into consideration meetings and deadlines. Today, I hope to spend ~30 minutes weeding the garden. Yesterday, I took a couple of hours off work to volunteer at the elementary school Field Day.

    So… it all kind of works out, and while I don’t particularly feel well-balanced (I feel frazzled and stressed all too often) things kind of balance each other out. As in, if I worked a little less yesterday (and went to a meet), I will make up for it next week, and if I went to 2 meets this week, I can skip the ones next week.

    Like

    1. Daria Avatar

      Thank you so much for adding to the conversation and being so descriptive. I especially liked how you say that it all works out in the end but you don’t particularly feel well-balanced. Me neither 🙂

      Like

  9. Maya Avatar

    A question: What do you do after your kids have gone to bed? (This is when I used to just stay up until too late.)

    And a comment: I too find it so hard to fit exercise into the work week, so I’m celebrating your weekend physicality with you!

    Like

    1. Daria Avatar

      Hey Maya! I usually have about 20 minutes in me to read or watch something with T, and then I go to bed, I just can’t keep my eyes open.

      Like

  10. Stephany Avatar

    My problem is not work/life balance but balancing all of my hobbies equally. While I enjoy my job and I work hard, it is not my main priority and I have set very clear boundaries (aka, turning off Slack notifications evenings/weekends, no work email push notifications, etc). It helps that I don’t have a demanding job, BUT I also don’t want to have a demanding job that requires more from me than I have the energy to give.

    Being single/childless also helps when it comes to balance, ha!

    Like

  11. San Avatar

    It sounds like you have a pretty solid routine. It’s hard to make it all fit into our 24-hour days… but I am glad you’re able to do so much work at school. My sister – also a teacher – doesn’t really have the option to do a lot of her grading, etc. at school and has to fit it around her home life which can be a challenge.

    Like

  12. Tobia | craftaliciousme Avatar

    This reads like you really have it all handled. I know it is not always true but I really am inspired and amazed. Setting boundaries is great. I also like that you teach your children that not everything is possible at all times and when you comme home from work you need tie to relaxe. I see it so often with parents that they do everything for kids and I am not sure it teaches them that boundaries are important. Not only for them selves but also for others. Just an observation of a childless woman.

    Anyway loved reading your list.

    For myself I am very good at my boundaries after having a burn out. I never work on weekends. I rarely work away from my desk. this way I have some boundaries within my home.

    Like

Leave a comment