After a rough week last week, I needed time and space. So, this weekend…

On Saturday my husband brought the kids to gymnastics in the morning and I went to my usual Korean sauna in Edison, NJ. I was there for a while, from about 9 till about 3pm. I toasted myself and also got a foot reflexology massage.

It’s not my first time getting this kind of massage, in fact, foot reflexology is my favorite massage. The therapist only focuses on your feet, and your feet have a lot of reflexology points. I had a rough week last week, felt like I could not shake the negativity, so this massage was so needed.

Interestingly, I am rarely ticklish during the foot reflexology and I am very ticklish during pedicures. Go figure.

On Saturday night we got together with friends to celebrate my sister-friend 50th birthday. It was seven of us and we ate, drank (in moderation), and were merry. The girls later went out for more drinks but I couldn’t. I was so tired! Heck, when I got home it was almost midnight.

Selfie at the restaurant while waiting for our table

On Sunday morning T had an event to go to so I wo-manned the kids while picking up the house. Neighborhood kids came to play, and I half-supervised, mainly listening for major screaming (not good) or for complete silence (also not good). I moved between house chores such as laundry, dinner, vacuuming, mopping, and reading my book or blogs.

On Sunday afternoon my friend Kristina came to tea (Russians love tea) with her kids so we caught up and had some friend time.

The colors are slowly turning

On Sunday night T left for this week long work trip. I cleaned up after dinner, read with the kids, tucked them to bed, then tucked myself to bed. Because….

On Monday my school was closed for Diwali but my kids’ school was open. Sometimes the stars align and I have the house to myself! It’s rare, but it happens.

The whole house, to myself, for the whole day. Oh, the silence. Oh, the tranquility.

I made myself a list so that I don’t fart time away on my phone. “Limit phone use” was on that list.

I did limit my phone use by placing it into the drawer

So, with my phone is the kitchen drawer, I did yoga, took a nice walk, and took a nap. I read my book, and meditated, and mopped floors. I made dinner. I rested, as much as I could. I also did lesson plans for the next two weeks. I did not “get” to lifting but, honestly, I think I just got lazy.

I did feel guilty at some point in the day but I really needed that quiet day.


Sarah reflected poignantly on her kids’ weekend screen time and that post made me think. In the end, everyone is different and different things work for different families. I recommend reading the comments, too- lots of great ideas.

I wish this was a world with no screens. I wish I could send the kids outside, give them a tray of snacks, and lock the screen door. Wait a minute… 😉

We don’t really have big rocks in our weekends. They have gymnastics on Saturday mornings and that’s it.

Most weekends, it’s nice out (in NJ it’s May to October), and the kids play outside a lot. We have an outside trampoline that they sometimes jump on. I hear them invent games, drag toys outside. Crafts – also outside. Neighborhood kids sometimes come over to play. We can go for walks around the block.

When it’s not nice out, they play in their rooms, mostly together, sometimes separately. They play dress up, family, school. Legos. It’s as unstructured as can be. They are at that magic age (7 and 5) where they can entertain themselves. The only thing for my daughter is her daily piano practice, 15 to 20 minutes every day.

During the week, there are no screens at all. I know they use screens at school (especially the 2nd grader) for assignments so they do not need more screens when they get home. During the week they also have activities: BJJ for my son 3 times a week, an hour of piano for my daughter in 2nd grade. By the time I bring them home we all are cooked- it’s just dinner, bath, low-key play, snuggles and bed.

On weekends they get maybe an hour of TV (usually some show, one kid watches 20 minutes, then another switches to their show). Sometimes they agree on one show and watch it for about an hour or 40 minutes.

Sometimes on Friday nights, we would watch a movie together, usually a seasonal choice. Or, they watch a movie with T and I read my book.

All in all, the kids don’t really get a lot of screens. I like our set-up for now. As they’ll get older, perhaps we can increase the time but for now… no screens on school days and around 1 hour on weekends.

On the front: second grade picture of my daughter (taken by my husband). We decided to not purchase school pictures but took our own. Much cheaper.


8 responses to “Weekend+solo parenting week+reflecting on kids’ screen time”

  1. San Avatar

    Hey Daria, as always, I am catching up on blogs.. I am happy to hear you got some me-time before taking on solo-parenting week. The foot reflexology massage sounds amazing.

    It’s great that you’re able to keep your kids screen-free a lot. I can only imagine it will get harder with time.

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  2. Lisa’s Yarns Avatar

    Your kids’ weekend screen time is admirable! Ours get more than that but it allows me to rest after lunch which feels like a necessity these days. They don’t get screens during the week besides watching a few Bluey episodes or something like that before bed for <30 minutes. We are out and about a lot during the day on weekends so I have come to accept some blocks of screens. With 2 boys, one of which is WILD, unstructured play time at home is not great because it results in wrestling/messing with each other and someone always cries (95% of the times Paul cries). It’s so maddening but seems to be typical for 2 boys. Sigh.

    Yay for a day off while the kids had school! And I am glad you gave yourself some time off on Saturday!

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    1. Daria Avatar

      Lisa, you have had quite a month. And you must rest. You do take them places -A LOT! I feel like.. because I already take them places during the week, by the time the weekend arrives I am just done. Especially on weeks that Tony is traveling. Like this week! He is back tomorrow and I know I’m gonna throw the kids at him and lock myself in our bedroom lol with a glass of wine and a book.

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      1. Lisa’s Yarns Avatar

        You should absolutely lock yourself away and let T give you a break!

        And I definitely need more rest right now while my body and mind heals but I even needed this rest time before the accident. I think part of it is RA, and part of it is just having higher rest/sleep needs? If I could wave a wand and change my sleep needs, I would!! I do hope as the kids get older and, um, require less patience/energy, I won’t need this afternoon block of rest.

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  3. rachelinwales Avatar

    You are so right about 5 and 7 being a great age for playing and adventuring and enjoying. Mine have just turned 5 and 7 and I love watching them invent random games together.

    We have a very similar screen set up to you. Right now on Mondays my mom takes them after school and I think they do watch some TV at her house, maybe an hour at most. On Tuesdays they have swim lessons. Wed & Thurs they are in after school club so no time for TV at home. Fridays we usually do 30 minutes of TV before dinner.

    On weekends sometimes we do a film during toddler nap. So they will watch maybe 1.5 hours. All if it happens on a TV in the living room, they don’t think we own any tablets. I think it’s nicer for them to watch together on the sofa like I did as a kid.

    I know it’s not the most minimal TV set up, but they spend a lot of time playing and drawing and reading and doing their own thing, so I am not worried about it for now. I am a bit sad that the toddlers get exposed to more TV than the big kids did – we didn’t own a TV untill my son was almost 2.

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  4. Common Household Mom Avatar

    I don’t know exactly what Korean sauna means but I am going to assume that my version of that is standing in the hot shower for 10 minutes. I am so glad when I hear that moms (especially teachers!) are able to enjoy something soothing like that for even longer than 10 minutes.

    Cell phones were not a thing until my youngest child was in middle school, so that wasn’t a factor for us when they were in elementary school, but TV time was a thing. I will only say that TV time went up astronomically on the second and third consecutive snow days. (I always loved ONE snow day school closing, but sometimes we had several in a row which was crazy-making. It makes me sad that there will be very few snow days going forward.)

    I think you are absolutely right that different setups work for different families.

    I remember when I was pregnant with my first silently judging the mothers who gave their child the free cookie in the store, saying to myself I would NEVER do that. I caved quickly!

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    1. Daria Avatar

      Haha the story about a cookie!! Thanks for sharing. I’ll do my best to prolong the screen-free childhood for them. I honestly wish we could go back to the 90s.

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  5. Tobia | craftaliciousme Avatar

    Screen time with kids is such a struggle these days. I am glad I don’t have to handle that and I don’t envy any parents who have those things on the agenda.

    Your approach sounds very healthy and as long as you can keep it this way I would.

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